a mass of contradictions

"You appear to be a mass of contradictions; there’s a subsurface violence almost always in control, but very much alive. There’s also a pensiveness that seems painful for you, yet you rarely give vent to the anger that pain must provoke."

from The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum

On the observer separed from the events

"He could feel, think, see, perceive panic and struggle—yet strangely there was peace. It was the calm of the observer, the uninvolved observer, separated from the events, knowing of them but not essentially involved."

from The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum

Everything starts with a dream...

Everything Starts with a Dream Notebook Diary

Dreams and Stories come hand in hand with me. As long with notebooks and notepads to record them.
I'm an only child. So I've always played by myself, with my toys.
I've never been a loud child. When I played the dialogues of my toys and plots where all in my head.

Back in the day I know I use to dream. But I don't remember none of dreams. In exceptions for a very weird dream I use to have.
I would dream I was in some place like a restaurant, and it was pretty much empty. I was with one of my cousins (the only one who as the same age as me) and I know Captain Hook was coming to get us. (What?) We run to hide, and the only place we have to hide is an low cupboard all in transparent glass. The cupboard had some thick bordeaux/burgundy velvet curtains to hide what was inside. Inside of the cupboard where these HUGE ceramic plates, where we could sit over. And then after carefully sitting in the plate I would wake. Now if I tell you that one of my favourite movies is Hook (played by Dustin Hoffman and with Robbie Williams as Peter Pan)? And that one of my favourites characters was actually the Captain Hook? Or that the first theatre play I ever saw was Peter Pan? This dream never made sense to me. And probably it's not even suppose to. But I never forgot about it.

Dream Always and Forever Quote Notebook

In the hot summer of 2005, I was in my grandparents house spending a few days. I think it was the first time I was aware of daydreaming. And not the sort of daydreaming with something I wanted to do. Daydreaming with made up stories completely made up by my own head. It was AWESOME!
Gradually I've started to keep doing it.
I would tell myself stories to sleep, I would entertain myself when I needed to go somewhere, when I was in the car for long travels... Usually this sort of daydreaming leads me to actually sleep. Even if it is just for a nap.
I've also started to keep record of my favourite ideas of stories. I've still have most of these, though I know that most of them will never be anything more than some scribbles made by and dreamy teenager.

The jar of Dreams Notebook

From 2005 to 2008/2009 I've woke up many times in the morning with such awesome dreams that I would turn into stories. Into a point that if I didn't record the dream as it was, I din't know where the dream stop and my imagination begin. I have a couple of notebooks full with dreams and the main plot of stories that I've started to imagine. Most of them I look on them and I still love them.
Some of these stories (a tiny part) I shared with some and very few selected friends.
Maybe it's because I've dream it, I feel that these stories are very personal. It might also be because most of times I see myself of one of the main characters. Though 99% of the times the characters have nothing to do with me.

What inspired me to have such dreams? Well it could be anything, a movie I had seen, a book I've read. Most of the times I couldn't pin point what was my inspiration. But then I would stay inspired to write and spend time with these characters.

Unfortunately from 2009 until this day this sort of dreams have been decreasing, most of the times I don't even write them. I still create stories in my mind, I still tell them to myself to entertain me or to make me sleep. But I don't have as much dreams with great ideas as I use to have.

I've been thinking about the fact that I didn't write as much as I use to. I miss it.
It's definitely something I need to schedule in my time and to-do-list - Take time to daydream and write!

What about you, what sort of dreams you use to have?

Dreams Diary Notebook

currently reading or about to read

Things on my desk that I'm currently reading or about to read.

1. The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin by Beatrix Potter
Recently I've been collecting things with squirrels. When I found about this book I had to have to. Beatrix Potter illustration are beautiful, and just that makes worth the buy of the book.

2. A Midsummer Night's Dream & 3. Much Ado About Nothing
My favourite plays written by William Shakespeare. I haven't read them in English yet. I know it won't be easy to read but I'm looking forward to it.

4. Print Workshop by Christine Schmidt (Yellow Owl Workshop) & 5. Printing by Hand by Lena Corwin
I've been researching for some workshops I'll be giving this month about block printing and these two books were part of that research.

6. Monocle issue 76, volume 08 September 2014
It's been almost two years that I've been buying and reading this magazine monthly. This is the current issue that I'm reading.

I can walk for miles and miles

I was reading How to Master The Shoes Selfie when I remember to talk about my new sandals.
I know I know the Summer is almost over. But I've been on the hunt for some sandals for a long while.
I knew what I wanted but I was having troubles in finding specially in a price range I could afford.

I've been fan of the Fly London shoes for a few years. (If I could I would have all of my shoes by that brand). Their shoes can have funky colours, wierd shapes and when you walk (in the ones I've tried) it looks like you're flying! I know it's cheesy, and I promise this is not even sponsored, it's how nice this shoes and sandals are to my feet.

This might be a bit TMI but my feet are very flat, so I always need to have some sort of support under the feet so I can stand walk and put my feet on the ground for even short periods of time.

Fly London thought have many of their shoes been produced in Portugal, it's not a very affordable brand, but sometimes the craftsmen and the sole quality make it worth the price.

I have a platform shoes from the brand in black that I love. Unfortunately I can't say that I use them a lot. In the past couple years if I used them once it was too much. Because they weren't the cheapest thing I tend to think that they are my fancy shoes, while I should think that they should be more like my regular shoes. But I'm running away from the subject.

Fly London Woman's Bow Gladiator Sandals

I was browsing in Amazon.uk and these sandals were on sale for a very good price. For a bit I was sorry it wasn't the teal version the one with the best price, but then I remembered that one of my favourite sandals ever where actually in brown, and that I've wear them to death. Besides I have a lot of bags in brown. And Brown it's almost a neutral colour and goes with most of the colours.

I was concern about the sizing, because I had to buy them in UK size, and I didn't know if they were a true size. It turn out they are true size (like I was hoping them to be). The first day I wear them I might have walked a little to much. I had a blister in each feet, but I've walked so well, that I was too much wowed to even bother about the blisters. The second time I used them they didn't bother me at all.

It was such a bargain, the perfect model of sandals (in my opinion) from one of my favourite brands, with such rich and beautiful colour (it's way prettier in life than in the website) and that make me feel I can walk for miles!

Photo took with my phone.

*this post it's not sponsored, just my true opinion and feelings about my new sandals!

The Beard man said - Quote from Horns

"What he remembered was everything dark and roaring noise and a whirling sense of motion. He was poured forth into a thunderous torrent of souls, ejected from the earth and any sense of order and into this other, older chaos. He was in horror of it, appalled by the thought that this might be what waited after death. He felt he was being swept away, not just from his life but from God, the idea of God, or hope, or reason, the idea that things made sense, that cause followed effect, and it ought not to be like this, Ig felt, death ought not to be like this, even for sinners.
He struggled in that furious current of noise and nothing. The blackness seemed to shatter and peel away to show a muddy glimpse of sky but then closed back over him. When he felt himself weakening and sinking away, he had the sense of being grabbed and tugged along from beneath. Then, abruptly, there was something more solid under him. It felt like mud. A moment later he heard a far-off cry and was struck in the back."

in Horns by Joe Hill

perfect! Such graphic description that I could almost sense it myself.