''Recognizing the structure of your psychology doesn’t mean that you can easily rebuild it. The Chamber of Unreasonable Guilt is part of my mental architecture, and I doubt that I will ever be able to renovate that particular room in this strange castle that is me.''
Dean Koontz in Odd Thomas.
The Chamber of Unreasonble Guilt
On believing - Quote
«Most people desperately desire to believe that they are part of a great mystery, that Creation is a work of grace and glory, not merely the result of random forces colliding. Yet each time that they are given but one reason to doubt, a worm in the apple of the heart makes them turn away from a thousand proofs of the miraculous, whereupon they have a drunkard’s thirst for cynicism, and they feed upon despair as a starving man upon a loaf of bread.»
- Dean Koontz in Odd Thomas
On baggage we bring with us
«We are not, however, a species that can choose the baggage with which it must travel. In spite of our best intentions, we always find that we have brought along a suitcase or two of darkness, and misery.»
- From Odd Thomas of Dean Koontz
Rant 101
I'm about to fall asleep in my own desk.
Fall asleep over the computer.
If only I would close my eyes... just for a moment... or two...
Not even the sugar is making me feeling less sleepy.
Why do I rant so much these days? Really, everything is reaching my nerves. Damm.
Times like these...
There are times and moments that make me feel I'm out of this world, even out of my body. I can't think straight of what I intended to do or what I was going to do. Then I look to the nearest watch and time have passed by while I was lost in some fantasy world that I can't even describe very well.
This often happens when I'm "trying" to work in front of my tv, with the tv on in some crazy shows that I normally would never watch, unless I was really bored or had a some kind of brain damage*. But the living room is comfortable than being at the desk. The living room is warmer and I can see the mountain and the blue sky, my room and workspace is cold, dark and the internet sucks there. Why not going to the office? I don't want to walk there, because I have to carry half the world on my shoulders, then it's cold there, it's dark too, because it's a basement. Sometimes I feel like it's a cubicle and most of the times I can't even see the backyard very well.
With all that said I need to get out of this cycle and work.
*I can't use spotify because my computer is going crazy with the internet making all the musics sound like crazy remix, I can't use itunes because I can't install it on the computer. Some component it's giving error and It's driving me crazy not having a way to listen to my music. This also increases the time I just turn the tv on to listen something. It's insane.
It's insane easier to surf the web in my tiny and slow tablet than in my pc!?!
I love my pc, but sometimes I just want to throw it out of the window, smash it with a hammer or just scream out loud with it. (guess the one that I actually do sometimes... yeap scream and call it bad names).
I'm just going to break, I mean wash some dishes before going back to this pc-madness.
This often happens when I'm "trying" to work in front of my tv, with the tv on in some crazy shows that I normally would never watch, unless I was really bored or had a some kind of brain damage*. But the living room is comfortable than being at the desk. The living room is warmer and I can see the mountain and the blue sky, my room and workspace is cold, dark and the internet sucks there. Why not going to the office? I don't want to walk there, because I have to carry half the world on my shoulders, then it's cold there, it's dark too, because it's a basement. Sometimes I feel like it's a cubicle and most of the times I can't even see the backyard very well.
With all that said I need to get out of this cycle and work.
*I can't use spotify because my computer is going crazy with the internet making all the musics sound like crazy remix, I can't use itunes because I can't install it on the computer. Some component it's giving error and It's driving me crazy not having a way to listen to my music. This also increases the time I just turn the tv on to listen something. It's insane.
It's insane easier to surf the web in my tiny and slow tablet than in my pc!?!
I love my pc, but sometimes I just want to throw it out of the window, smash it with a hammer or just scream out loud with it. (guess the one that I actually do sometimes... yeap scream and call it bad names).
I'm just going to break, I mean wash some dishes before going back to this pc-madness.
Começos e re-começos
este início de ano foi bastante sui generis. e lamechices à parte, o início foi tão intenso - cheio de promessas de coisas novas e projectos interessantes que não estava à espera de ter
um precalso logo logo a seguir. isto de familaires engripados é uma chatice, que se torna ainda mais chata quando a seguir ficamos nós.
mas o precalso está quase ultrapassado, e enquanto o ultrapasso vou abrindo caminho para regressar aos projetos que 2014, enquanto puder, eles não me vão fugir assim tão facilmente.
e se falo em re-começos é porque quero voltar a esse caminho que ando a desbravar, é porque quero me tornar independente. é um longo caminho, mas com projetos interessantes vou-me divertir à brava...
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